I’ve been M.I.A. lately doing a bunch of stuff that is not blogging. One of those things happens to be falling in love with Zach Galifianakis.
Archive | Mens I Love
I’ve been asked before to share my expertise on the art of ironic flirting. Unfortunately it’s probably too late for a treatise on the subject because ironic flirting is a dying art – dying due to the fact that those who practice it can never find anyone to procreate with because flirting cannot be done ironically. I’ve thrown out enough sidelong glances and “don’t touch me” body language to know that you catch more flies with honey than with feigned indifference. This is the best love advice you will ever find here.
But I discovered something this week that renewed my faith in the power of irony to bring people together.
This is one in a series of Glamour Shots taken by a seventeen-year-old boy in 1999 to amuse his girlfriend. I read about them on Best Week Ever and apparently so did he: he wrote the author of the post with the story behind the photos. Go read it and fall in love with (ironic) love all over again.
So, don’t get the wrong idea about me. I don’t just sit around all day and complain about men like some kind of foul-mouthed Cathy cartoon. I’ve also spent a lot of time recently obessessing about Dan Bejar.
If you’re asking who Dan Bejar is, you obviously haven’t spoken to me in the last three days. In addition to being my imaginary boyfriend, he is an indie rock god. A member of the New Pornographers and Swan Lake, he also records as Destroyer. DESTROYER! It’s not what it sounds like – it’s awesome.
This is pretty out of character for me, to be fixating on a celebrity like this. There may even be a clinical term for this kind of behavior. I have stretched this month’s budget to include purchasing almost all of his albums and then I’ve spent most of my waking hours listening to them. There’s likely not a picture of this man on the internet that I have not seen.
Oh, look, here’s one!
I didn’t take that photo, but I was at the show where it was taken. Here’s one that better demonstrates his passion for music and looking good in sweaters:
And if you’ll just indulge me one more in the Dan Bejar tribute (photo) album:
If you look up nnnn in my dictionary, there is a picture of this guy.
Aside from the fact that I am pretty much joking about all of this, any efforts to get close to him would be futile. He has a long-term girlfriend and they are the President and First Lady of Couplesville. They spent a year bumming around on the coast of Spain (Spain? Again?!) They recorded an album together. And do you know what it was called? “The Portrait Is Finished and I Have Failed to Capture Your Beauty…”
THEY EVEN WEAR MATCHING NAUTICAL OUTFITS, TAKE PICTURES, AND THEN RELEASE THEM TO MAJOR MEDIA OUTLETS.
If I had footie pajamas, they would be covered in tears barf. Nautical outfits. Ha. I didn’t want to be ironic with Dan Bejar anyway.
I’m beginning to wonder if whatever I write on this blog comes true…
Did I mention that I just got home from a date with Jemaine of Flight of the Conchords fame?
I’m comfortable using this power for evil.
MF Outbreak
The cover of this book definitely arouses my lust
for more knowledge about gang activity from a sociological perspective.
I may not be mature, but I like my men that way.
A tall, funny Jew in a tux wearing glasses? Danny Tanner, you are straight bringing it.
